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  • Writer's pictureTimothy Davis

Dear Phelix:

Updated: Apr 7, 2022

My partner is an athlete. Sports bore me to tears. What to do?

My S.O. plays (insert sport here) and wants me to attend their games. I have little to no interest in sitting through this, and would rather do most anything else. What should I do? Every solid relationship is built on compromise. You may be able to find some motivation or desire to attend one of their games by understanding that you are not going because you love the sport, necessarily, but because you love the person. It may be worth a conversation to let them know you would like to go because supporting them is important to you. The compromise might come in determining -- together -- how many games feels supportive to you both. Plus, the icing on the cake for you may be finding that you find some aspects of the games exciting, or you may find some extra enjoyment that you wouldn't have necessarily come across otherwise (walking, chatting with friends, having a picnic, etc.).

Almost every day before class, I see a group of students. I decided to listen to their conversation one day, and heard them talking negatively about a girl who usually joins them in the group a little bit later. I continued listening each day before class, and they said very mean things about her. Once she gets there, they obviously change the subject and she is very oblivious of the situation. Should I step up and say something to them or mind my own business? I feel like I should also say something to the girl, but I am not sure if it is my place.

This sounds like a very complex question. Before answering, my wish would be to know if these people are your friends, or if the girl is your friend. (Or perhaps this is simply something you have observed?) That said, I cannot ask you these questions, so I will make some assumptions here. If these people are not friends of yours or folks you socialize with, I would defer to the idea that it has nothing to do with you, and therefore is not necessarily something you need insert yourself into. Relationships are very complicated, and everyone learns and grows at their own pace. It is impossible to know what any of these characters would need to learn and grow in this particular situation. Everyone deserves the dignity of experiencing their own life as it unfolds before them. You may even consider that purposefully listening in to other people's conversations isn't the best use of your time.

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